I had thought that love has bigger roles to play in marriage. I was wrong. I got married at 36 when I thought I had seen someone who loved me.
While dating, I was not spending money on her because she has a job and was not complaining. I ride okada for a living, hoping to go into a business soon. Before marriage, I used to have spare cash of about 10k always. Even if that 10k is spent on something, I would recover it within a week. She told me that if money she spends on feeding and what I spend on feeding are added together, we will feed ourselves, and save more. But since we got married, I labour hard to ensure she has whatever she needs. Now I’m stretched to the limit and can’t cope anymore. She has money in her bank account, but said she’s saving for raining days. Anytime she wants to perform online banking, I do it for her. Two days ago, I wanted to buy data, I transferred money from her account to the seller, brought out the money and told her seller accepts bank transfer and I don’t want to go and queue in the bank for lodgement. I would have informed her first, but she was busy attending to visitors and her phone was with me. She was angry and said “I will change my password.” I replied that the only favor she did me was saving my journey to the bank. She said if she has cash in hand, she would be tempted to spend it. So, it’s me that should not have savings?
I don’t feel like having sex again, because of the depression and she is now angry that I’m turning her down. Now I’m planning to leave home and return whenever my situation improves. She can cope because she has enough money.
Why the financial pressure on me is too much is that we are both 36 years old and friends keep trouping to our house to wish her well. As a man that manages resources, I entertained guests from my family once for the past two months we got married because it’s not my town but hers. She keeps asking me for money to entertain guests. Some friends made it a habit of visiting twice weekly, while she keeps showing me off. When she asked for money for food yesterday and I told her I had no money, she has been moody since then, thinking that I’m hiding money from her.
This was a woman, that, last week, when I said I couldn’t afford a particular asoebi that only concerns me because it’s costly, went to the market, bought it, and took it to my tailor. Judging from her recent actions, I won’t wear that cloth except I’m able to refund the money.
P.S: Love is just a rhetoric – humanity died long ago.